Artist Statement

My oil paintings use color as a way to heighten and identify emotions. I paint to envision a healing space for a younger version of myself who experienced trauma and was limited by the gender binary and heteronormative pressures coming from a small town in East Tennessee dominated by religion and conservatism. I approach this through depictions of self-portraits, figures, or animals in fantastical or dark spaces as a way to further allow myself to live in such a work and set aside reality or to understand and soothe feelings of past disturbance. Sometimes when using tints of pinks and blues it is in a way that makes me feel understood by challenging the gender binary and other times, color is not associated with literal meaning.

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When painting, I often stand very close to the canvas and move around the piece to understand space on a small scale, but also as a way to really interact with my work and feel enveloped in it. I want people to also interact with the work and get up close to have a separate experience of the close-up view that helps them better understand the work from a distance.

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Recently, my subject matter relates to the theme of a carnival. It has always been expected of me to be bright and bubbly at all times, without rest, even in times of distress. The spotlight has always made me feel like a carnival animal or performer on display, hiding behind a mask and bold eccentric outfit. This work creates a space that is fun and enjoyable for any person. However, upon further contemplation, the scene can be deconstructed and the hurt is recognized. This is accomplished by using vibrant colors that I am drawn to as the subject while being placed in a dark background or surrounded by dark elements. I want viewers to understand that first impressions are not the only forces at work. I want to be seen in my entirety, ugliness and all.

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Ideas of individualism and appreciation for beauty exemplified in Romanticism inspire me also. Figures embedded into landscapes made of candy in work by Will Cotton displays similar sensibilities as what I want to portray in my work. Ridley Howard is another painter who inspires my work in his use of a soft handling of paint to render the figure with a more flat but vibrant background. These ideals expressed in their work inspire the homoeroticism and commentary on homosexuality that is present in my own work in a positive and comforting way. I hope that my work allows a resting place for the viewer to feel considered and wander into a zone of tranquility and admission from their past or current state.